jaeleslie

Today I sent a birthday card to my dad George. Second dad, who raised me. Haven't seen him in many years -- Mr S and Number One Son have never met him, although he lives only fifty miles away. He will be 75 on Sunday. Surely I would have heard if he were dead, through the network of his former colleagues that I know. Occasionally I make these efforts at contact. Nothing happens. Maybe it is too painful all round.

I thought maybe I could explain some of our recent difficulties to my mother by pointing out that her divorces had the effect of subjecting me to bereavement at an early age, without any acknowledgement or comfort. I am supposed to have gotten over it. The older I get the less sense that makes. It does make some sense emotionally to say I have had to bury two fathers, and never been allowed to mourn them. What pleasure it would be to see either of them above ground. Particularly George, who was my daddy.