jaeleslie

I went to a meeting, had a walk, read a book. Skipped class today and took a nap for a couple hours instead.

The papers on the table next to the computer were stacking up so far (like they do that by themselves) it was making me claustrophobic so I put half of them in a box under the table. Much better now. It's not paranoia if they're really after you.

I shouldn't have been bragging to the endocrinologist yesterday about how strictly I have been sticking to the nondairy diet, because it gave me ideas. So that when I saw an advertisement later for an enchilada it made me think about how long it has been (two years?) since I had any Mexican food, which has been one of my very favorite kinds of food since I was a small child.

So we were saying, you know everything doesn't have to have cheese on it, and consequently there we were tonight at La Hacienda, having a nice little family-style supper of soft tacos and chicken enchiladas with mole poblano. The menu didn't say it had cheese on it, just the mole, but I didn't specifically ask for no cheese on it, and then (I should have expected this) when my plate arrived at the table my enchiladas were covered with cheese. Very nice cheese. But I scraped it off, and it was pretty good anyway, and the beans and rice were okay even with the cheese picked off. And I didn't have to cook it myself, which is always a feature for me at restaurants. But of course there were a few flavorful little bits of cheesey strings left. And as a result I am going to be up half the night at least, eating the industrial strength antacids again and reading a good book.

While it is devoutly to be hoped that some doctor is eventually going to diagnose and find the miracle cure for My Condition, preferably in a simple little pill, it is far more likely that I am going to have to stick to the nondairy diet the rest of my life, and offer thanks in my prayers every day that all these tests don't result in me getting hauled off to the hospital with something really serious. This means

1. No ice cream ever. No sherbet either, read the fine print. The substitutes are not generally that great, and not widely available. And not in my face like the ice cream.
2. No more Italian food, or Mexican food, or French food with those cream sauces, unless I make it myself. We tried those special pizzas with no cheese on them, and they are not so good.
3. No white or milk chocolates. I know dark chocolates are for more refined tastes, but frankly mine is not.
4. No bakery products, except French bread, unless it has a list of ingredients printed on the package to check over, or I can quiz the baker. In this part of the world, most everything baked has nonfat dry milk added to it, or milk, or whey solids, or something. This means that every social occasion I go to, the entire table of food is pretty much off limits, unless I question the cooks thoroughly, which gets tedious and tends to alarm them instead of making them feel nice about all the effort they put forth.
5. Did I mention, no cheese? That means no cheese and crackers. No cheese popcorn, no cheese chips, no cheese puffs, no cheese nachos, no cheese quiche, no cream cheese, you get the idea. Actually I can eat goat cheese. Some of my friends have begun to get the hang of serving goat cheese at our luncheons.
6. Goatmilk yogurt has got, shall I say, a distinctive flavor. Otherwise, no yogurt. No sour cream. And no lactaid, it makes me sick.
7. No sour cream potato chips. No dip. Well I didn't want to eat those that much anyway.
8. No glass of milk with the cookies, or cake, or graham crackers. No cream in my coffee or tea.
9. No macaroni and cheese. I used to make it from scratch, and very well too, which Number One Son misses.
10. No cheesecake.

I could go on, but it's remarkably pointless to dwell on all the things I can't eat. The first six months, I went over all this very thoroughly, and worked out stuff like the goat milk, and that I can tolerate a little bit of butter every so often but as a regular thing I should stick to the cheap margarine that doesn't have buttermilk or milk solids in it to give it that much-advertised buttery taste. (No buttermilk pancakes, by the way, or french toast.) There are a whole lot of dreadful cheese substitutes on the market, considerably worse in flavor even than that yucky low-fat cheese, many of which contain casein or whey products anyway. (Now there's looking on the bright side, I'll never eat that hideous low-fat cheese food again.)

And the ingredient listings are always printed extremely small, so that I have to look this way and that and over the top of my glasses, in a good light.

On the other hand, I've found almond milk is pretty good, when I can find it, especially on cereal. Still learning to feed myself again. I can have omelettes, if I make them myself, with rice milk. But what a bloody effort!